Monday, August 17, 2009

While the cat's away....

With Eric MIA for the next week and without a new podcast for the week I felt like I owed you, the rabid fanbase, a bit more effort on the blog for the coming week. So I have vowed to post at least one new blog everyday this week. You should be warned the last time I made a vow it was that I'd watch all three Lord of the Rings movies in one day and I still have yet to do it, and it was five years ago that I made that vow. Still, we're off to a good start!


Any fan of "Seinfeld" is well versed in the made-up movies from the show. Some of the all time great scenes centered on these fictional works of cinema such as Kramer taking over for the Moviefone guy ("You've selected 'Brown-Eyed Girl'?...Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you want to see!") or when George's dad freaks out when hearing Jerry and another character discuss a movie ("It has nothing to do with the plot!" "Still I like to go in fresh!"). I thought it was time we discuss which of these movies would be the ones I'd most want to see if they existed. Let's count 'em down...

5. "Blimp"

This is about the Hindeburg explosion and is from the seldom seen "Puerto Rican Day" episode where George yells out "That's gotta hurt!" during the climatic scene. He gets such a great reaction he goes to a second showing to try out the line again, but due to the presence of a guy with a laser pointer it falls flat.

I feel like while this wouldn't be an Oscar winner or turn into one of my favorites, it would still be worth watching. I mean could it be any worse than "Poseidon"?

Comedic factor on the show = 6
Desire to see it if it were real = 6

4. "Sack Lunch"

The plot points of this film are not known, but the movie poster shows a family stuck in a lunch sack. Elaine wonders was the family shrunk down to fit in the sack or is it some sort of giant sack. I can't help you with this but I loved how the involvement of this movie in the episode was how everyone Elaine knew wanted to see "The English Patient" while she wanted to see this movie which looked like crap. I hate when people get all into an artsy movie and then make you feel bad for just wanting to see something fun. If this episode was about "Babel" and "Mr. Woodcock" then I would be suing Larry David right now saying he stole it from my life.

Comedic factor on the show = 7
Desire to see it if it were real = 6

3. Agent Zero/Firestorm/Death Blow

These three movies were like the spaghetti westerns (is it still ok to use that term?) that Clint Eastwood starred in where I feel they were connected despite not having the same characters. They were all action films referenced throughout the series. "Agent Zero" was one of the films Kramer offers up when he is pretending to be Moviefone. "Firestorm" starred Harrison Ford and is the movie George's dad wants "to go in fresh!" for. "Death Blow" is the movie Jerry bootlegs and turns him into a legend on the street.

Three great titles for action movies, although "Firestorm" loses points because it eventually was used in real life in a movie starring former NFL Defensive End Howie Long, or as the women know him, the guy with the very ambiguous relationship to Teri Hatcher in those old Radio Shack commercials.

Comedic factor on the show = 7.5
Desire to see if it were real = 7

2. "Rochelle, Rochelle"

The hands down favorite to take the number one spot on the list, the tale of a "young girl's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk" was by far the most referenced movie of the series. The characters saw it in the theaters, George later rented it on VHS, and even later Jerry dated the understudy to Bette Middler from the Broadway rendition of the story. And the movie was always described as having "a lot of nudity" which is always a crowd pleaser here at Really Reel Reviews.

Comedic Factor on the show = 8
Desire to see if it were real = 9

1. "Chunnel"

Boom! I don't know how this movie hasn't been made in real life. I mean the pieces are all there, even the supposed plot of the movie on the show sounds great. According to the "Seinfeld" fictional films wikipedia, it was about the President of the United States' daughter being trapped between England and France. And you know there was some former FBI agent on board going to sightsee in Europe after being let go by the very government he swore to protect and now they need him again! Oh man, that movie would rock! This was another movie in the Moviefone episode and the tagline is "Chunnel" 32 Miles of Hell. AWESOME.

Comedic factor on the show = 7.5
Desire to see if it were real = 10

So those are my five, as always if you disagree or have comments please email us or you can save it for the next podcast we do.